Meeting Each Other Where We Are At
Current song playing on my Podcast “Self Love” Playlist : The Truth About the World ~ Andrea Marie
Let’s start with taking a nice full body deep breath in through our nose and then exhale it all out from our mouth. Maybe do that a couple more times till you find yourself right in this present moment a little bit more.
I have to be honest, I am still on a journey with myself deep diving like I haven’t done in some time. My Facebook Lives on both my personal and business page will coincide, I have nothing to hide. I believe my raw authenticity and vulnerability with wherever and whomever I show up with is what makes me, me. Some people can be with it and some can’t. For those that are not sure of what to do with it, I have long ago come to the realization that it’s not for me to explain or for people to “get”. I totally get that this is not an easy place for people to reside in, both those in the being of such a raw soul and those that are in the circle of these people.
As I have been in this deeper space of self reflection, my higher self has asked me to step back from some things and yes some people as well. I am by no means secluding myself but sometimes if it fits for you like it does me, I have to honor that my mind and body need space to feel, to process and then to hear what I am truly being guided to move into next. Getting Quiet…….it’s not a comfortable for space for many and I can’t say that it always is for me. But it’s within the messy and discomfort that growth and enlightenment arises.
In these quieter and sometimes really uncomfortable moments all I really need if I am reaching out to someone, is for them to simply be with where I am at. We have grown into a society that we feel the need to want to fix those that are hurting or going through a difficult time. And believe me I used to be that person too, until I came to the realization that not only do we have the answers inside ourselves if we got quiet enough; But sometimes all we need is just someone to listen and meet us where we are at. No expectations, no need to try and fix what is transpiring.
A good friend of mine has taught me 5 important words, “How can I support you?”.
What if instead of word vomiting all over someone and trying to give them advice that they did not quite ask for, we take a moment to pause and ask one of these two questions instead:
How can I support you during this time?
May I share a different perspective or my thoughts on this?
What if we maybe not assume the person needs to be fixed and we give them a chance to tell us what they need? What then?
I feel that by offering up either of these two questions, you are allowing for the person going through the trenches to find some space to breathe, to take a moment to check in with themselves and really see what are they needing in this moment. You are allowing for them to be seen and feel heard, validation that they are still human. And you are giving them options which can feel good as well.
What if we set aside our opinions and expectations of what “we think is right” and truly just sit with them and just be present with what is?
Just you showing up is enough sometimes for people. Just being present with another person, the mess doesn’t feel so heavy and lonely.
I just invite you to try this on moving forward with all your relationships in your life: wife, husband, child, parent, friends, maybe your dog! HA! And just see what transpires.
It’s not any easy shift to not want someone to hurt and to take all of their pain away but maybe that is not our job. Maybe our job is to just simply be with what is unfolding and just hold space in that moment with your person.
Let us meet not only ourselves where we are at but all of those we come into contact. Letting go of judgments and expectations, what then could be possible.
Blessings to you all,